Friendship

Friendship: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

I thought about this post off and on during the day and kept coming back to one event this past year.  On a Sunday in September, my 2002 VW Bug decided to get very ill in a parking lot in Wall, NJ.  Now, I have AAA, it was a nice afternoon, I had papers with me to grade while I waited for the tow truck (teachers, always prepared, always grading), so if the car had to breakdown, it chose a pretty convenient moment. I did have to call 2 local taxi companies to finally get a ride home, but hey, it wasn’t 17 degrees out in December!

I had it towed to a local VW dealer because I’d never had a reason to get it fixed before so didn’t have a VW mechanic.  I tweeted about it (of course) and many of my Twitter friends responded with sympathy and suggestions.  Almost a week later, I had my bug back with a new timing belt which didn’t wipe out my checking account and, let’s face it, on a bug looking at 150,000 miles, it was basic maintenance.

When I recounted my story in the faculty room that Monday, one of the other teachers said, “Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve picked you up, no need to wait for a taxi!”  Now this teacher and I have become good friends over the past few years but it never occurred to me to call – ever since my divorce I’ve been so focused on taking care of everything myself that it didn’t occur to me that anyone would be willing to help me with a ride home.  Her comment made me realize that part of being a friend is offering help and accepting help.

This was even more true when the bug went back to the dealer less than a week later with the check engine light on again! This time? Catalytic converter.  Twitter friends suggested an alternative local mechanic and @jmediamaven (another friend I must value more in 2011) shared that her VW had the same problem & it didn’t require an immediate fix.  When I go see the NJ Inspection folks, it might, but I’ve got 12 months left on that – and the check engine light goes on and off at random intervals so who knows?

But I digress.

What I learned about friendship this year is that being a friend means not just giving of yourself but accepting what your friends offer to you.  Something anyone who drives an older car with high miles really REALLY needs to know!

I should’ve called her. With 150K miles on this bug, my guess is she’ll get a phone call eventually!